I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
