told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
