i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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