I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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