dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS