Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
