So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
