16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
handjob tips. give me some.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
