I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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