Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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