just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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