Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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