i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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