yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
