I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
