FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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