What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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