I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
