I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
