wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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