YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
