It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
