Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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