Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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