operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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