where am i from again
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
