Are we in a gay sports bar?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
