i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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