I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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