I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
