i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
