I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we're making bets on your personal life
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
