At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
