i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
