i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
