I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
