I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
