Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just crazy horny about you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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