i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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