All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
