BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
