I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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