he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
