My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
