I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize