whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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