I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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