Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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