'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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