Don't you send me to vm
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
