i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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