made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
