Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
