I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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