I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
