I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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