I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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